Onslaught: Where Did This Game Come From?

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Did you know Hudson made a super generic FPS shooter with CYBORG INSECTS that you whip to death (with your laser whip, natch) that you can buy for your Nintendo Wii?  The picture above is a CYBORG CATERPILLAR and it will EAT YOU and/or EXPLODE ON YOU.

Onslaught, it turns out, is a Wii Ware game.  To say it came out a of left field is an insult to left fields everywhere: this one came from Japan.  No Bullet?  NO BULLET!  What the game is really telling you is that you when NO BULLET flashes on screen is that you have no ammo, but I guess technically you have no bullet.  Also, Bug Blood gets on your face and you use your Nunchuck to wipe it the fuck off.

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Can’t do that on your Micro$oft Xbad 3stupidy.

Also, I’d really, really like to know where in translation the phrase “That’s why your still a kid” got added to your partner’s vocabulary.  Is it an insult that insinuates you’re young and inexperienced?  I suppose that would explain the  winning 7-year-old who screams from inside your Wii Remote, repeatedly, whenever you’re injured in the game.  If Nintendo keeps getting hard core games like this, then it’s game over for $ony and Mico$oft.  Their simply won’t be enough room for all the awesome.  No wait, I meant all the terrible.

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